The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
