you guys were way drunker than both of me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This house was built for laser tag.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
