i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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