apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
