Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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