and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
