so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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