That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
