i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
