theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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