Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he thought i was a dude.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
