Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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