Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize