Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
