hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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