it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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