i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
