I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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