Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
