I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
