Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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