I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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