end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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