Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
