Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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