Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
