Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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