I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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