I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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