put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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