she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
