Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
