VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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