Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
