Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
