HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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