Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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