I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize