I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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