What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
