Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
