and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
