honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
