I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
