i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize