i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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