So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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