Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
