and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
