I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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