so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
