Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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