All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
