i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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