My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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