ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
