the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
