TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize