I can tuck mytits in my pants
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
