here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
