I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize