Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
