so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
