she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
