Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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