Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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